Tuesday, October 17, 2006

divorce- broken home for a child

Children need their relationship with both parents. There is a bonding between parent and child that cannot easily be replaced by a surrogate parent or stepparent. To protect the essential parent-child relationship, you have to insulate children from your own conflict with their other parent. The divorce is not their problem; it's yours. Being a not a good wife or husband does not make your spouse a bad parent. So don't get the children into troble when it comes to the parenting schedule, don't bargain with your spouse on any other basis than what will give your children the most stability and the best contact with both parents.

The worst thing for the child of a broken home is feeling responsible for the breakup and feeling that loving one parent is a betrayal of the other. These feelings cause children intense stress and insecurity. To protect your child from almost unbearable pain, don't say anything bad about the other parent in front of the child. When the parents have decided to separate they should tell the child about their intention in a smooth manner. When they tell this to the child they both have to be present. It is not easy to convey this message to the child has you think. However it is your responsibility to tell that in such a way that it minimizes the sense of loss for the child. It is a very sensitive issue to deal.

Try to make it less painful for your child. You have to ensure the child that both your love and care would be always there to take care of the child. You can reveal your decision to divorce according to the age of the child. Spend time with the children, such as on a weekday evening, on weekends and on holidays as this will ease their pain and also a sense that both parent really cares for them.

If they hope the family may reunite, you have to tell them the real situation but it is not necessary to give all the information at once. Tell them that they can spend time with both of you separately. Take care to help them to get over the situation smoothly as far as possible.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Don't keep divorce a secret from the children

Divorce is a very hard time for everyone to deal with. It can be very hard on a person emotionally and physically as well. This is especially true for children. They have to have the proper help during this difficult time. They need to know and understand that it is not their fault and that both parents still love them very much.
You should not keep the divorce a secret from the children. You need to tell them when you make your decision and what is going to happen. Try to give them at least a little bit of notice before the parent moves out so that the child can have the time to deal with it and ask questions. Reassure the child that both parents are still going to be there for them and that nothing has changed in that sense.

Do not put blame on anyone when you are talking to your children. Do not put down the other parent in any way and get some divorce help from your parents and close friends. It is important that the children know that they still have two dependable and trustworthy parents to take care of them. Let them know that it was a mutual decision and that you both did your best to avoid this ending.

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